Pregnant and alone dating consilidating debt closing business
I won’t have a rule for when I tell a guy I’m pregnant.
I’ll play it by ear and see what he brings to the table.
I had a date with Marc only a few days after the transfer. I knew it was too soon to tell him something so personal. I knew the transfer had worked, but still felt it was quite early to tell him that I was pregnant. When I finally told him, a few weeks later, that I was pregnant, he seemed truly happy for me. But, you can probably tell that I am writing about him in the past tense.
I did, however, tell him that I was in the “process of becoming a mother.” As luck would have it, and much to my surprise, he had worked for a judge in law school who was doing research on embryo cases–couples who were divorcing and fighting over their shared embryos, or individuals who had lost a spouse and were fighting for the right to determine the future of the embryos they shared. This guy knew more about the IVF process than I did. That is because I realized that I wasn’t attracted to him, but really hoped I would become so, since he was so open-minded.
So, in part of my reply to his email, I included that we share a devotion to honesty and, in that spirit, I wanted to let him know that motherhood was extremely important to me and that I have begun the process of becoming a mother on my own. Would I have been better off meeting him and then telling him a few weeks later that I was pregnant? He was pretty surprised and said that I had rendered him speechless.
I made it clear that I’m very open to dating and that I would always be transparent. I suppose I could have waited until I was showing and then said, “Surprise! (Something unusual for him, apparently.) The interesting thing about the conversation was that he became curious about my experience, and asked me how I was feeling and how I chose my donor.
I am grateful to have the first trimester behind me and to enjoy the privilege of sharing this exciting news with friends far and near.
But, when to share the news with a potential suitor is a mystery.
“Hmmm,” I thought “maybe I should tell this guy right away that I’m going to have a baby? Still early to tell the world, but maybe a fair time to tell someone who might take me out to dinner and expect that I’m not expecting. About an hour into our first conversation, I told him that I had something I wanted to share–I was pregnant.
You can see the persons age (assuming they’ve not lied about their age on Facebook), how far away from you they are and sometimes where they work, if they have this set up to show.
Which let’s face it – could be either a good or bad representation of the other person. There is of course, a small bio for each person and some people upload more than one picture.
I’d had my heart broken by my baby’s dad, despite only being with him a very short time and I’d been completely single for 4 months. I imagine they will be on Tinder for many years to come, wondering why on earth nobody has take them up on their generous invitation yet!
I was a bit lonely, but I’m a strong woman who was actually, despite circumstances, coping pretty well on my own. I wanted to see if a pregnant single mum could find matches. Within the first week, I’d chatted to a few of my matches, but was chatting regularly to four of them.